I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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