i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
