worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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