I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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