I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
