my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
