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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yes but- 100% agreed

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."

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• (607): View more from New York

  then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Champagne is a vitamin, right?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day

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• (716): View more from New York

  Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock

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