it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize