id be glad to
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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