dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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