she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
