I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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