why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
nutella sex= disaster
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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