my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
