I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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