Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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