Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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