WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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