i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it glows. i had to have it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Randomize
