in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
