Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
