Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
