Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
