Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize