He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
