i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
