8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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