I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize