we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
