Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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