Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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