I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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