It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize