i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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