you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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