During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you win again, gameday.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
