Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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