Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
