He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
