Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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