Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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