Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
