my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
