It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
