so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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