If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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