He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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