Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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