i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
