I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
