Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
