I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
