fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
