Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
