I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
