in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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