I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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