i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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