What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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