Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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