Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
