My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
