she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize