Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
