I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
