I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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