have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
